Moronic martial arts and other such flummery

This blog's back for good me thinks, and I'm back with another selection of links and videos.

Here is my first video: to sum it up for those who cant tell, this is a martial arts master who thinks he can harness the power of "chi" in order to make his arm impenetrable to very sharp steel. When this guy was given a machete he took the opportunity to demonstrate his abilities by plunging the blade down to his bone. Best quote "I thought, oh god, were definitely gunna see some juice today". Without further ado:

My second video is of more martial art related flummery. This time it is a master who thinks he can use Jedi style techniques to kick people's asses without even touching them. He then offers $5000 to anyone who can beat him in a fight. In comes the hard bastard mixed martial arts fighter...... the stupid old Jedi gets his ASS handed to him.


If you were wondering how the guy was managing to use kick his student's asses without touching them its all suggestion. The students believe in the master's "powers", they run to fight him expecting to get thrown over when the master waves his hand, they run up, the master waves his hand and they think 'oh this is when i fall' and they fall, and believe the Jedi has powers rather than stand out from the crowd and not do anything.
The same principle is demonstrated here by Derren Brown using a voodoo doll and a gullible new age enthusiast. Because she believes it the situation starts to become real to her.

Moving away from the Jedi woo woo this video gives me what can only be described as a lazy lob-on. The further he gets into it the more incredible it gets:


I don't know if you have ever seen line rider but its a really addictive way to waste time. Anyhows the have a new one out with eraser tool and stuff.

For my final link, here is the worlds most interesting blog. A guy tries to go a whole month without wanking. Its not as easy as it may sound, after about the 13th day he starts to experience ball pains.

Right, well thats it for now, until i have some spare time where I'm bored enough

A blast from the past

Woaaaaahhh! I haven't posted on this for two years. Well, i think i'm gunna start this badboy up again. Here is a video that recently made me piss myself:


"Ah Fuck. I can't believe you've done this!"

Here are some more youtubes i have found:

This Russian singer called Vitas can get ridiculously high and apparently his testicles are fully intact.


This made me cry when i first saw it, its too funny:



When death scenes are funny:
I can't believe the guy from the first 2 scenes is now the governor of California

Okay its past Halloween so these will no longer be useful, but they are still bloody funny.

So Here It Is Merry Christmas (eve)

Ho ho ho! It fukin christmas eve! woo! To pass the time i have fond you some lovley festive links! Ive also made you a nice poll to take part in. Enjoy!

This is sooooo random, you have to keep watching it untill the end. This is the best thing ive seen in ages.

Heres some nice festive tampon art:

Heres you poll dudes:

Festive poll
What would you most want for christmas? A jet pack A taiser gun A big anti gravity pad An invisibilty cloak A James bond watch A flame thrower Love Happines Global domination The contents of a realy realy big music shop Current Results

Top five things I want for christmas:

1. A super cool new distortion pedal for my guitar called "Uber metal"
2. The new Smackdown! game "WWE Smackdown Vs Raw 2006"
3. The new Trivium album
4. A partrage in a pear tree
5. A crossbow

Christmas post

Well helloo, It is a rare occasion that I decide to write something im my blog, however I am boared and I want to burn half an hour so here are some interesting links that I have found:

An extreamley addictive japanise game, based on this.It gets harder the longer you survive.

Some idiot tried to rob a bank over the phone.

Environmental Protection Agency don't like the smell of chocolate.

A teacher gets bollocked for telling kids that santa is not real! Well I am offended! I would never tell anyone that their beleifs are wrong.

Have you ever watched Braniac? If so, this tells you how to make that dudes expoding paste! If I ever get my hands on some Iodine crystals and Ammonium Hydroxide I am soooooo gunna make this! Just think of the pranks!

Roite. This is about the most bizzare comic ive ever seen, go on this website and go on "Jose the majic tampon."

Back in Green

Yo, I haven't posted in ages, but I'm back with more amusing links:

I will share with you all some of my wisdom, never order Siberian tiger meat in a Chineese restaraount; You don't know what they will serve you.

Also, never trust people who say they are poor, they could just be after the free soup.

Here's the funniest peice of news I've heard in a while.

This is pretty interesting.

Anyone else hate your mum jokes? If not you may find some of theese funny. Theres so many ya mum jokes.

Finaly, heres 5 facts I didn't know last time I posted:

• A snail can sleep for three years.
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
• Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
• Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotama

teaturipukakapikimaungahonu-kupokaiw-nuakit natahu, a New Zealand hill.

First of all i'd like to say. WILL PEOPLE STOP PUTING YOUR STUPID SPAM ADVERTS ON MY BLOG! ILL JUST DELETE IT ALL IF YOU DO. I HAVE ALREADY SAID BEFORE I AM FIFTEEN AND MY READERS ARE ALSO ALL ABOUT 15 SO WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT LOAND, CHOLESTORAL DIETS AND WHAT NOT SO WAIST YOUR TIME POSTING CRAP ON OTEHR PEOPLE'S BLOGS. Thank you please.

People I know o would like to know only in south park form:

I made this on this website, it was brought to my attention by CJ.

A weener a day keeps the doctor away!

Wow, I know I shouldn't laught but its too much of an ironic and stupid death. Cut down in her prime, by a tomb stone.



I am Face


The Faceman is the man to talk to to get things done. He's got a fast tongue and the connections to get the A-Team out of some of their most difficult moments. Has many disguises, this smooth talker is very persuasive, and doesn't hesitate to use this in working it with members of the opposite sex.


Which A-Team member are you???

Ace, look at those midgets in tight spandex!

Here is a few links for you to be checking out:

Boy dies in freak golf club accident.

The Worst album covers ever.

Ha ha! It's just like in the cartoons!

Let Darth Vader try to read your mind! Or, you could tell a guy in a chicken suit what to do. Most exelent!

So, I was browsing on the internet and I found this. This is just animal cruelty at its weirdest. Who in the right mind would want to discuise their dog as a poodle?!

I also found this. How much water a condom can hold before it explodes. (insert your own "I have a big willy" joke here)

Five Statistics I didn't know since I last posted:

• 17% OF TEENAGERS SMOKE.
• ABOUT 70% OF ALL ORGANISMS IN THE WORLD ARE BACTERIA.
• ABOUT 85% OF ALL PLANT LIFE IS IN THE OCEANS.
• Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
• On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

Five facts I didn't know since I last posted:

• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• On average people fear spiders more than death.
• In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
• "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.